When it is all about "you"...

When it is all about "you"...

Danielle Joyner Kelley

March 18, 2009

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.". Romans 12:18.

When I first read that scripture I thought "Yeah right. This world can be so mean and I am supposed to live in peace with everyone?". Luckily a sermon at church transformed my thinking and that passage set me free from a lot of struggle.

What I was missing was the phrase in the scripture that is in between the commas "as far as it depends on you".Often we deal with others at arms length and with kid gloves for fear of their reaction. How often have you known you were wrong about something you did to someone but you didn't say you were sorry because you feared they would reject you? If they would react in a bad manner you would be embarrassed and who wants that? How often have we seen someone who was rude so we were mean in return? You give what you get right? Wrong!!

In this scripture what is in between those commas changes everything. We encounter people every day and act towards them based on how we think they will react. That is not what it is about.

This scripture tells us that it is "as far as it depends on you" meaning it is your own action that counts and not the other persons reaction.

Simply put, you cannot change people. You can change yourself. When you face God and look back on every interaction you had with another human is He going to judge you based on your own action or their reaction? You and only you have to account for your actions.

Think of your true nature. Do you like helping and being nice to others? If so why let someone elses behavior change what is good within you? Why give the person likely to reject or embarrass you for your niceness control over who you really are?When we do that we lower ourselves and in essence say "I don't care what God thinks as long as this person doesn't make me feel stupid.".

There are a million reasons to explain why it is your action that counts. For example assume when you go to the store the woman behind the counter seems rude. Do you say something nice to her or do you act rude back? If a man cuts you off in traffic do you ignore it or try to run him down honking? Does it make you feel better to feel like you "got even"?

Think of those examples and assume you reacted in a rude manner to that person. What will you say to God one day when he tells you the woman behind the counter at the store was rude because she was just diagnosed with breast cancer but had to work that day because she was a single mother of two children? Talk about being embarrassed then! Or what will you say when God shows you the man who cut you off in traffic was rushing to the hospital because his child was in a horrific car crash? Talk about being ashamed then!

When you only have to worry about your action and not another persons reaction you become so free. You can't change them so why kill yourself trying? Worry about YOU. Imagine how much better the world would be if we did.

Doing this will ensure that when God asks you if you lived peacefully with everyone that you won't have to say, "Well I would have but...". Instead you can say, "Yes Father, as much as depended on me.".