Forgive and Forget...(Dealing with Other Series Part II)

September 21, 2009

Danielle Joyner Kelley

“Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other." Mark 9:50.

Growing up we are taught the famous phrase, “forgive and forget”. Forgiveness is one of the hallmarks of Christianity. In situations where we have to forgive others things can seem difficult and ironically, some of the most troubling situations are when two Christians are involved. In this instance, trouble usually does not come with the “forgive” part, but comes with the “forgetting” part. We are all sinners, and God made forgiveness available to us, but that sinful nature is what hampers our ability to “forget”.

Without question, relationships between Christians are special. On their good side they posses power and understanding beyond what the world has known. However, when one or both of the people fall down, not only do they cause each other to weaken in faith and doubt, but they cause non-believers watching to as well. In many areas of the Bible, God makes it clear to us that He cares very much about what we show non-believers.

Our difficulty with forgetting should cause us to be extremely careful in what we do and say about others. If we do or say something wrong and are forgiven, we know that things are usually not the same. Trust is extremely hard for us to give away, and even harder to give back to someone who has damaged it. "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again?” Mark 9:50. When Christians, armed with the Bible and its principles get caught in this situation with each other, things can get ugly. One or both may fall into self-righteousness and judgment and convince themselves, backed up with scripture, that they are correct.

Clearly, when someone is causing us to fall, God gives a way out. “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.” Titus 3:10. The key is that we have warned the person directly. All too often, we see Christians discussing someone within a church body, bible study, and the like, with everyone but the person they are talking about. There are few things that shatter a Christian more than feeling disliked in the place they go to seek God’s help.

In a situation where God is using people to help others, when someone falls off and causes disruption, there is a feeling of total devastation. The person who feels hurt may turn away and react in a sinful manner. We should always ask ourselves what reactions our actions are likely to cause. "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” Mark 9:42.

Also, the person talking about their fellow Christian to others in a negative manner causes a great deal of strife for the rest of the group. The leader of the group or Pastor of a church has to deal with questions of why, and small group leaders have to answer why they invited a person who was capable of violating someone else’s trust. Put simply, the situation caused by someone else’s tongue catches fire and spreads. “Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” James 3:5.

When someone has befriended us, or joined our church or small group with the pure purpose of growing closer to God, and we judge them and make them feel like an outcast, they often walk away thinking we are representative of the God they are seeking. And only with God’s help can what we have done be undone. “Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” Romans 14:4.

We should not do anything to prevent others from seeking God. “On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:12-13.

Rest assured, it does not matter if we are the most well-known minister, best missionary, most generous giver, best in attendance on Sunday, leader of the church choir, or seen as the best Christian on the block, God pays attention to all of His sheep. Work to make sure that you are not just benefiting others, but you are not harming anyone else as well. "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'” Matthew 25:40.

Remember, God knows who you are benefiting, so make sure that during the time when He would be rewarding you for doing so,

He does not have to spend it correcting your wrong instead.