Resurrecting the Shattered…

May 10, 2009

Danielle Joyner Kelley

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.” John 12:27.

When people look at those who are walking in line with God, they usually have a perception that the person has a grip on everything and everything is going well. This is rarely the truth. So why do they look so happy? It depends.

A person truly walking with God does not want to create a misperception that things are going wonderful when they are not, but a person that is not truly walking with God will try to convince the world everything is wonderful. The person in step with God appears good, not because the storms of life are not hitting them, but because they know who to go to when those storms start.

Those in line with God know that even through the storms of life they are to stay humble, ask for God’s deliverance, and praise Him for the good that remains. Arrogance, an intention to mislead, and pride have no place in this mission. “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6.

I have been growing closer to God for a while now, and although I have understanding, wisdom, love, and guidance like I have never had before that does not mean that everything is going perfectly in my life here on Earth. However, I do know where to go when the world comes at me.

It took me a long time to learn that God is not trying to break my spirit, but He is trying to break my will. My will has been contrary to what He wanted for me for so many years now and I should not have expected this transformation to be an overnight process.

Still when the storms hit me, the old me is still there and wanting to give up. Normally I would, but the obedience and work I have done while walking with God this time is what keeps me from turning back. When I cannot take anymore, and I am absolutely about to break, strangely enough I cannot. As soon as I try, a scripture pops into my head, and I remember that I promised to serve Him some way and I get up.

That does not mean that I do not sin, that I do not cry and tell everyone I have had enough, or that I do not want to give in when everything is turning against me. Far from it. However, this time I have trusted my Creator with my life, and with every move I make. And He will not let me down. As close to Him as I have grown, I would think He would say, “Well if she is that willing to give up, then let her go.” What I know now is that He would never, ever do that. He loves me way too much.

Put simply, I cannot give up on someone who refuses to give up on me. If you have a boss who respects and admires you and treats you with total respect, do you feel guilty calling in sick? If you have a coach who thinks the world of you and is always there for you, do you play harder for them? Of course. You don’t want to let them down. When someone is nice to you in traffic and lets you out, do you want to do the same for someone else? Yes, it was just done to you.

And I feel the same way about God. He loves me and holds me up, so I want to go to work sick, play harder, and be nice to others. I do not want to let Him down.

To understand this love though I had to break. But I have learned the value in being broken. That is because I know now what God does with the broken pieces. He builds them into something they never could have been had they not shattered and come to Him asking for help.

For example, if you have an antique vase which is priceless, and it falls and breaks, what do you do? Is your first thought to throw it away or to try and glue it together? If you have a baseball that is covered in player autographs and your dog chews it up, what do you do if you can still see two of the six signatures on it? Other than getting rid of the dog? You save those two, or you try and salvage what you can.

But God does not just salvage, He improves. Ironically, being broken does not make you weak, it makes you strong. The opposite of being broken is being whole, but that is what you become. “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Look at Jesus. His broken, battered body laid into a tomb, raised from the dead and offering salvation to every sinner. Look at Him and tell me if the broken does not become whole again. And through His sacrifice you can too.

People make the mistake of thinking when they become Christian and start being obedient towards God that they will gain everything worldly. To the contrary, the opposite usually occurs. You are living in the world, and until you have accepted Christ you are living for the world. Chances are you will not gain anything worldly at first, but you will get rid of a lot of things, including things you have put your heart into. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21.

This happens until you are left with only yourself and God. When I was stripped bare, and unable to take anything else I had nowhere to go but to God. No one on Earth could help me. At that point, my faith was all I had. “Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us.” 2 Corinthians 1:9-10. When you are broken to the point where you feel like you cannot go on by yourself, rely on God, not yourself and not anyone else.

When I am broken I learn the pain. I learn where I do not want to be. I know my desire is to never be here again. I learn then who I can trust and who I can love. I learn who I can lean on to make sure I never fall off and break again. “Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7.

One of my favorite songs by Building 429 called “End of Me” states it best:

I was the one to call the shots
Dream-eyed dreams, heart and soul
Answered only to myself
Never giving up control
Until the one day that brought me to my knees
And I would never be the same

Once upon a time the story goes
I laid it all down and let it go
To lose it all
To lose it all
Took a step of faith and said goodbye
And everything I had I left behind
To find true life
When all I longed for I found finally
At the end of me

And now the gone is wasted days
The selfish soul, the emptiness
Love had dimly been replaced
That old life is laid to rest
And now the new me is stronger day by day
I will never be the same

And like an answer to a prayer
Jesus you were there
Calling me to live to die to give to gain
And I’ll never be the same

I found Him at the end of myself. Being broken down has its advantages. First, you are more likely to be humble, which God wants. This in turn makes you more likely to forgive others, which God wants, and more likely to relate to others and be less judgmental, which God wants. Second, you have a sense of inner peace and completeness that is amazing. Third, when the next storm pops up you know where to go. Fourth, you would not know what to do and not do if you had not fallen. Fifth, you learn endurance, “being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.” Colossians 1:11-12.

God knows breaking makes us better. As Jesus told us, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24-25. When we die, we produce many seeds.

And God doesn’t always reveal to us why what is happening to us does. Just as with Moses and the burning bush, God did not reveal everything to Moses that was going to happen, only what He needed to do then. And though we keep asking, “why?”, God knows that telling us everything could be too overwhelming, and we would try and change things or try and speed things up to get to the end. Everything is made perfect in God’s timing. “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:8-9.

Another well known Biblical figure, King David, was perhaps one of the best examples of someone who praised God through the bad and turned to Him when he broke. He was a “man after God’s own heart”, and knew where his strength came from. “David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel 30:6.

Likewise, I refuse to give up. I refuse to give in. “But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.” Psalm 71:14. And He has seen my work, and He is not letting me give up or give in. Although the world around me is caving in and throwing me off the cliff, I am starting to feel His hand catch me for the first time in my life. But I had to jump first. He could not save me until I did. Walking the safe road does not allow Him to.

Where I am standing now I can honestly say that every heartbreaking moment from the very small to the life shattering has brought me closer to Him. Even the ones I did not use at the time to grow closer to Him, I can look back now and do it, and He lets me. He loves me that much.

And He was waiting. And there is no problem you cannot overcome. There is no problem you cannot look back on and learn from at this moment. “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4.

He is a God of truth. He is truth. And He wants you to realize that truth. “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” Psalm 51:6-10.

No part of you will remain untouched…for the better. He created you, He knows you inside and out. And He will never give up. Neither should you no matter how many times you fall.

Another one of my favorite songs, which I cannot get through without crying and has gotten me through so much is “Completely” by Ana Laura.

The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do, in all that I say
Right here in this moment
The power of prayer
Is in the humble cry
The power of change
Is in giving my life
And laying down
Down at your feet
Right here in this moment

Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is within lift up to you and say
I am yours and yours alone, completely

This journey of life, is a search for truth
This journey of faith, is following you
Every step of the way, through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment

Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is within lift up to you and say
I am yours and yours alone, completely

Right Here, Right Now
And for the rest of my life
Hear me say . . .Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is within lift up to you and say
I am yours and yours alone, completely

I am yours and yours alone, completely

To get “in this moment” may mean you are broken, but that is the starting point to become whole. And you will realize that without Him you were never whole even before you broke. Your fall called your own cracks to your attention so you could ask for repair.

This is why you are here. For this hour. To come to Him, and receive the guarantee that even when you fall and break you will be fixed. Not only fixed, but restored, recreated, renewed, and blessed.

No one else will ever put me back together again. I love you my Lord Jesus…