Do Unto Others...

May 11, 2009

Danielle Joyner Kelley

“With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape.” Proverbs 11:9.

There are many good qualities about us that God wants us to embrace. Some of the most important are mercy, compassion, humility, and forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32.

It is important to forgive and to ask for forgiveness.If you do not forgive or you judge someone wrongly you will fall into temptation. What temptations? Being jealous, gossiping, lying about what you do not know is true, slandering, becoming angry and resentful – you name it. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matthew 26:41. And those temptations take your focus off of God. And it stays all stored up inside of you, and it boils and boils, so you spread it around for the rest of the world to hear, and you convince others you are right. “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.” 2 Timothy 2:23-24.

How many people follow this rule? We assume we know so much. We hold ourselves so high up. We either do not think about God when we judge others or we tell Him we know better than He does. And one day we will stand before Him and account of our words and all our so-called knowledge. “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:36-37.

I can imagine how the conversation will go. The Bible shows us an example of one when God was talking to Job:“Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said: "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone- while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? "Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'? "Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? The earth takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment. The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken. "Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this.” Job 38:1-18.

The chapter is much longer, but you get the picture. If you didn’t create the universe and mankind then hush. It seems today that everyone is running their mouth, and listening to one of two messages: 1) Messages from other people, or 2) God’s message. I feel sorry for the former. Yet, people will create an entire wall around them based off something they heard about someone they do not even know.

For example, for years now, I have seen girls hate their boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends because of something their boyfriend told them. I have seen new girlfriends hate ex-girlfriends for no reason, when the ex-girlfriend was cheated on with the new girlfriend. I always wondered why they hate each other when they don’t know each other. Because the boyfriend said something? Is he God and no one told me?Once a girl was talking about personal issues and told me that her boyfriend’s ex-wife was crazy, and she did this or that wrong. I said, “How do you know, she did them to you?” She said, “No, but he told me.” My next question, “He who?” The answer? “My boyfriend.” Wrong answer. If you have not seen it in person or God has not told you then you just slandered, gossiped, poured out lies, and stirred up dissension. Uh-oh. “There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:” Proverbs 6:16. One of these six things? “a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” Proverbs 6:19.

Ouch! Doing something that God would “hate” is not something I want to do. And it is mentioned again in verse 17 where it says that God hates “a lying tongue” Proverbs 6:17. Count me out of the conversation. I cannot sit there and listen to blind judgments. Claiming to know something first-hand that you know second-hand is like me arguing with a tree about human emotions. I will not be a party to it, nor will I spread it around to make your relationship with your man look better. The truth is if you know so many bad things about her then chances are you are hearing them from your boyfriend and that means you are willing to waste your time listening to information about an ex-girlfriend or wife so my advice? I would reexamine your relationship with Him. "Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness.” Exodus 23:1.

Another person I knew was cheated on by her boyfriend, and later found out that the girl that she was cheated on with (that she did not even know) hated her and was spreading rumors about her. She asked me what I thought. My answer was simple. Why hate the girl and still want the guy? He was forgiven by her, but he is the one who cheated. If you are staying with a guy and hating a girl that is not the one committed or supposedly loyal to you then you have issues, and big ones at that. Being a hypocrite is not something God endures.

You need to be aware that there are people who do not care about God, and are not worried about what He thinks of what they say. They are living in a fun moment heading to a tormented eternity. They are not thinking about where their soul will be when their body is in the ground, and at the same time they cannot dispute that they are going to die, as we all are. Pray for them. “Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34. They will get the picture sooner or later trust me. And you need to pray for them because the consequences are grave. “Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure.” Psalm 101:5

By opening their mouths they will be subject to the same treatment by the same guy they think is so wonderful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." He also told them this parable: "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Luke 6:37-42. Judge and be judged, condemn and be condemned sounds like “what goes around comes around to me”.

When you stand in judgment of someone you don’t know you are showing quite a bit of pride. “The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.” Proverbs 16:5.

And if you are taking a man’s word over what is really God’s truth, whether or not you are following God at all, don’t expect it not to catch up with you. You make that man your entire life and world and don’t put God first just see what happens. "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 7:24-27.

Yet another time I talked with a friend who was upset that an old friend of hers was passing judgment on her new friends that she did not even know. Again I was asked for advice. The answer? Once again, simple. She was jealous of the new friends. A mirror was being put in her face and she didn’t like the person she saw, or she would not have been afraid that the girl’s new friends could have some huge effect on their relationship. It is common sense.

We not only should not talk badly about each other, we should not think badly of each other. “And the word of the LORD came again to Zechariah: "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.'” Zechariah 7:8-10.

Moral of the story: be careful judging anyone. “But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:1-7. There is only one judge. And although you are all-important to God, truthfully all you do with that kind of talk is bring the rest of us into Satan’s attack. So stop. Don’t be a tool for Satan to use. That is a horrible way to live an existence. And stop pretending you are ahead of everyone and everything, especially God. He wrote the law for you to use, not spit upon and try to change. “Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.” James 4:11.

For those of you who are on the condemned side of speech, when someone hurts you, you are to pray for them. As hard as it can be this is what God asks us to do. “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-13. There is so much freedom in praying for someone who has hurt you. “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:44-45. Forgiving them allows you to take control back of your emotions. When you do not forgive them, you are giving them control over your happiness. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25. God doesn’t forgive those who don’t forgive. And remember their action should not affect you. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18. Know that some people are miserable and not receptive to your new lifestyle of trusting God and doing His will. That is why the scripture says “If it is possible…”. What counts is the “as far as it depends on you”. You are to do God’s will without worrying what anyone else thinks. It is your action not their reaction. You show by your own actions what Christian behavior is like.

Do not let your pride get involved. “Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 18:12. Pride has no place before God. Jesus explained it in a well-known parable. “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers — or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:9-14.

And don’t let evil comments about you cause you to harbor resentment in your heart. Otherwise, it becomes a weakness that the enemy can use against you to grow your resentment and anger. “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:13-18.

Be willing to humble yourself. And forget what the reaction is because it is not what counts. Reactions will be left in the world. They will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven, so let those who are in the world remain worldly. You aim for higher things. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death — even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:3-11.

You are a new you, here to serve God. Forget the way you used to react and start acting differently. “You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.” Colossians 3:7-9.

My old practices? Gone. My new practices? Whatever God tells me to do. Unlike situations where we talk without knowing the truth, I have sought out His truth and know it, and that is the truth I will keep in my heart and allow to come out of my mouth.

Nothing more, nothing less.