Call to Change...

July 22, 2009

Danielle Joyner Kelley

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.” Ephesians 5:15-17.

People typically avoid things that they do not understand or that they do not want to do. The reason why we avoid something we do not want to do goes without saying. We avoid things that we do not understand for the same reason, primarily, we do not want to take the time to figure it out. Thus, we turn “trying to understand” into something “we do not want to do”.

In order to justify our avoidances, we tell ourselves that we are fine the way we are and do not need change, that we know all we need to know and do not want to learn anything else, that we do not have the time, and whatever has happened is someone else’s fault.

When we react to someone in a way that we should not have, we begin a battle in our own mind. At the moment we act, we feel a deep nagging feeling that tells us we should not have done what we did. In response, we begin to tell ourselves why the person deserved what they got. We become argumentative and defensive and justify ourselves by going over everything that person has done, or not done, in the past. Even worse, we tell our justifications to everyone else, seeking their approval of what we did. The most important lesson gets lost in the meantime: Before you think of a situation in your own life, and point the finger at someone else, examine your actions outside of theirs, and remember God is looking at you both individually. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18. That scripture says “you” not “them”.

Depending on someone else to tell you what you did was right, when that inner voice tells you that you should not have, is a self-defeating process. Put simply, the famous old saying “two wrongs don’t make a right” is dead on point.

Your own wrong that you are working so hard to justify, is a bad circumstance, but it is also a golden opportunity. When you are working to please God instead of yourself and others around you, and let go of the need to always be right, the inner voice warning you to change is, no pun intended, truly a Godsend. That voice is the Holy Spirit who has told you that you stepped out of line. It is not a call to feel guilt, it is a call to change. “When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and in regard to judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.” John 16:8-11. God wants what is best for all of us, and knows how easy it is for us to fall into evil. So Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to live within us.

Those feelings of worry or guilt are a warning signal to turn back to the only One that matters, and the One who wants to keep you on the right path. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8.

Still many people will hear that voice and become defensive. When someone places the blame on you, remember you are not the one convicting them, and that you have your own convictions to deal with.

Imagine if a person is standing trial that you know is guilty of a crime beyond a shadow of any doubt. The jury convicts the person, and instead of facing punishment and being forced to realize his behavior needs change, he has the opportunity to undo the conviction by standing in front of the Judge and blaming all the people that caused him to commit the crime. He blames his childhood, his parents, his teachers, his friends, and then the Judge looks at him and says that he understands and that he is free to go, no matter what the jury says.

Sound ridiculous? When you ignore the Holy Spirit’s conviction that you are doing wrong by blaming others, that is exactly how ridiculous you are being also. God is not up there trying to make you feel bad; He is up there trying to make you do better. It is for your own benefit that you listen.

If someone else tells you that you were wrong, and you feel that you may have been, do not turn it around to reason why the other person is the one who did wrong. Remember there was only one perfect Man who ever walked the Earth and did not sin, and that was not you. Instead of fighting, listen to what needs to be done, and remember you won’t be judged by God for someone else not following a conviction of their own; however, you will be judged for the ones you did not follow.

You will be judged by the One and only Judge that matters, and knows what the inner voice told you that you explained away to avoid listening to. Through each action you defend of your own to impress someone else, think of that judgment and ask:

How much will the other person matter to you then?